breadcrumbing
BRED-krum-ing
/ˈbred.krʌm.ɪŋ/
The act of sending out flirtatious but non-committal social signals (i.e., 'breadcrumbs') in order to lure a romantic partner along without expending much effort.
It is a form of manipulation used to keep someone interested as a 'backup' option.
The story behind the word. The term is a direct reference to the fairy tale 'Hansel and Gretel', where the children leave a trail of breadcrumbs to find their way back. In dating, however, the trail leads nowhere.
Word relationships
- leading on: Leading on is a general term; breadcrumbing specifically refers to the small, intermittent 'scraps' of attention.
Commonly confused with
- benching: Breadcrumbing is about the communication style; benching is about the status of the person as a backup.
Word family
- breadcrumb (verb): To lead someone on with small gestures.
Collocations
- digital breadcrumbing
- stop breadcrumbing
- victim of breadcrumbing
Example sentences
- "He doesn't want to date me; he's just breadcrumbing me to keep me around." Realizing a partner isn't serious.
- "Breadcrumbing is the digital equivalent of leading someone on." Defining the behavior.
Memory hook
Think of a bird following tiny crumbs, never getting a full meal. Scraps of attention.
When not to use
Don't use for someone who is genuinely busy but still trying to make plans.
Fun facts
- Psychologists link breadcrumbing to a need for narcissistic validation.
Related words
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